Where Would The Vibrancy Of Mass 3rd World Immigration Be If Girls Weren’t Disgusted With Boys In Grade 3 And Everybody’s Forgotten That That Happened By Grade 12?

Instead of arguing with brainwashed people on Reddit, I’ve gotten Alex Trebek and Dr. Evil to argue with each other for me…

Alex:

“Is it possible for a redhead…

to be friends with a boy who looks like this…

in grade 3?”

“Oh, I don’t know Alex. How do I answer that in the form of a question?”

“This isn’t really Final Jeopardy, Dr. Evil. It’s that

Alt-Right blog you started as a platform to

get elected Hitler of Canada in your

goal of taking over the entire

world and killing everyone

who doesn’t have blond

hair and blue eyes.”

“Now answer the question!!!”

“Oh, I’m not sure. Um, is the correct answer, ‘Yes:

because children are nice?'”

“No, you fucking idiot! The only reason people think

that they could be friends with each other

in grade 3 is because everyone

else in the class hated

them both at one time

or another.”

“I don’t think that makes much sense. I thought

everyone in my grade 5 class got along

with each other. And I must have

been nice to everyone in

grade 3?”

“You stupid fool! Girls in grade 3 make fun of

boys when adults aren’t around. The redhead

and the boy with black hair and freckles

will take it out on each other. The

only way they’d be friends is if

 every girl in the class hated

them both at the same time.”

“But…But…I was popular in grade 3. Wasn’t I?”

“You were not popular in grade 3! You looked like

this…”

“You were so unpopular girls made fun of you

wherever you went.”

“That…That. Can’t be true. I was friends with

a girl in grade 5.”

“Yes. After she got over how disgusting you were

you became friends with her in grade 5.”

“But I was best friends with Will Smith when I

was in grade 3.”

“Yes. You were best friends with the least popular kid

in the class!”

“But Will Smith was on, ‘Fresh Prince?’

He was cool.”

“When you were in grade 3 girls taunted you

wherever you went and when you made

friends with Will Smith it confused

them and they left you alone.”

“Could it be that my goal of world domination was

really all about me getting made fun of

by girls and forgetting that that

happened?”

“Fuck you. I’m going to takeover the entire world

and kill everyone who thinks Pat Sajak is

a thing.”

 

The Holocaust Museum Should Update Their Poem…

“First the school boards Hitler/Holocausted to death the better looking boys with green eyes, brown hair and freckles and I did not speak out because on a subconscious level I was disgusted by how when I was in grade 3 they only played with minorities.

Then the school boards Hitler/Holocausted to death the better looking boys with dark eyes, black hair, pale skin and freckles and I did not speak out because I thought the fat guy who looked liked that was amusing.

Then the school boards Hitler/Holocausted to death other better looking boys with brown hair and freckles who were in remedial and I did not speak out because I was too busy figuring out that a redhead guy was gay because, on a subconscious level, I was disgusted by how when you add Asians to an elementary school the redheaded boy played with girls.

I didn’t even notice when Seinfeld was a new show that there weren’t any fat or tiny little black guys at my school because I was too busy watching Will Smith on TV. So I did not speak out.”

Adolf Eichmann never picked up a gun and killed anyone. Neither did Spielberg or Ontario’s teachers.